


What Lies Beneath

by Azurith



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Crisis, F/M, Self-Doubt, primal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 03:25:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18160847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azurith/pseuds/Azurith
Summary: The Warrior of Light has convinced herself that she's a primal. It falls on Estinien to convince her this isn't the case.   (DRG Fem!WoL, but otherwise generic)





	What Lies Beneath

"What am I?” The words spoken as a whisper still manage to fill the silent room, heavy as a thunderclap. Hands shaking, as eyes stare at them. A normally stoic face, unfazed by death, hardship and betrayal stands looking horrified. 

A pair of metal boots clack across the cold stone floor. The armor wasn’t built for for moving silently, but it didn’t seem like the figure in the room even registered he had moved until Estinien was right next to the Warrior of Light, wrapping his arms around her. ‘You’re you.” he insisted. “The the Warrior of Light, my fellow Azure Dragoon, the woman who saved me in more ways than one.” it was a lot of words for him, but she needed to hear it. “You’re the woman I love.”

Words of comfort seemed to have the exact opposite effect as she tore away from him, spinning around as tears sprang to her eyes. She wrapped her arms around herself, letting out a strangled cry. “You’re saying that because you have too.” she yelled at him. “You don’t mean that.”

Estinien closed the gap once more as he placed a hand on her face.“I meant every word.” he lifted her tear stained face so she could look him in the eye. “Alphinaud told me what happened….” he trailed off. The boy had been truly worried about the dark place the Warrior of Light had found herself in, and feared for her safety. The young diplomat had no reference for such self doubt...Estinien however. 

She whimpered but she couldn’t bring herself to move away from him again. “He’s right, it makes so much sense, I've been blind and I’ve already hurt you.” she closed her eyes, no matter what she said , she knew it wouldn’t make a difference. He wouldn’t leave her. That was part of the problem. “Everyone loves me, more than they should, they would...have...died for me. “ An image of Haurchefant crossed her mind, laying on the ground covered in blood. 

“I showed up out of nowhere….I was an answered prayer.” her sobs turned back into whispers. “Zenos was right. He knew the truth and taunted me with it. “ She still remembered his words all this time later and his questions about her existence. 

“Look at me.” Estinien insisted, and she opened her eyes, red with tears. “You are not a primal.” he insisted. “You’ve not tempered me or anyone else.” he tried to reassure her. He wanted to resurrect the Garlean Prince for real just so he could shove his lance through him. Instead he settled for running his hands through her hair. 

She leaned into the touch, as guilt flooded her. “How can you know? How do you explain it?”

Estinien leaned down to capture her lips if just for the briefest of moments. There was something he’d been torn on telling her….he didn’t want to keep secrets, at least not from her, not anymore. “Because.” he paused taking a breath. “I’m not as free of Nidhogg as I seem to be.” 

The Warrior of Light’s eyes went wide as she gasped bring her hands to her face once more in shock. “But….we killed him.” It seemed for a moment he had distracted her from her own plight.

Estinien nodded bringing his now free hand to his chest. “You did indeed, and trust me the beast shall not rear his head once more...but his essence is with in me. He is ….my inner dragon now. While he has no ability to take on his own form any longer...we spent so much time merged that completely undoing our connection was impossible. Your friend Y’shtola knows the truth. She confronted me about my Aether after the incident. But that's not what is important now….what's important is that Nidhogg makes me immune to Tempering much as Hydaelyn’s light protects you. Even if you were a primal- which you are not. I would be unaffected. I do love you, these feelings are my own.” Estinien finally revealed to her.

Once more she found herself with tears, as she collapsed into his chest, though this time of relief. She hadn’t twisted the one she cared about most in this world. His arms easily found themselves wrapped back around her. But after she calmed for a moment she pulled away wiping her eyes. “That just means you’re not affected. And while I’m thankful for that beyond measure. I can’t ignore everything else. I’ve seen the looks I get. The actions taken on my behalf.”

Estinien shook his head. “You’re the Warrior of Light, you’re a symbol of hope, of something better. Someone who can fight for everyone in the face of impossible odds, you inspire people and not because you’re a primal but because you’re you. “ he continued not letting doubts flow back into her head. “That doesn’t make you a primal, it makes you a hero….and for the power you have, the strength to overcome whats but in front of you, to battle these gods. You’ve been blessed, but you’re not the first Warrior of Light, we know so little of your predecessors ...we don’t know what they were truly capable of. “

“And my memory?” She asked bringing a hand to her face, but her resolve was fading. 

“You’re hardly the first person with amnesia.” Estinien offered for the first time in this conversation cracking a smile. 

The Warrior of Light couldn’t help but follow suit. The dragoon found himself wanting to protect that smile, that light she shown from within. It was to precious for words. 

“There.” he looked down at her stealing another kiss. “Rest. No more more thoughts like this. I’ll wake you if you have a nightmare. ” he insisted. 

She nodded hugging him tight once more “Thank you. He was playing mind games with me and it worked…..I didn’t mean to worry everyone.”

Estinien caressed the side of her face. “It’s alright, Just rest.” he insisted as he lead her back to the bed.


End file.
